Eternal Depressed Summer

by Low Horizon

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.
    Purchasable with gift card

      name your price

     

1.
02:53
2.
01:28
3.
4.
05:30
5.
6.
7.
8.
01:55
9.
02:18
10.
01:38
11.
12.
02:02
13.
02:06

about

july 2015-july 2017

i wrote these songs as i descended toward what will hopefully be the nadir of my life. no longer fresh out of college, i returned to my hometown and settled into a routine that i am not particularly proud of. in a way i felt like a superhero without powers; i was aware of my desires and dissatisfactions but unable to maneuver away from my life as society intended.

i grew tired.

of my vain reality. of living for the weekends. of begging for a few more minutes every morning. of barely showing up. of hoping to leave by 6. of racing down 59 to break the monotony. then growing numb to the speed. numb to pain, to joy, to boredom. eventually only fear remained, flickering incessantly as the fluorescent tubes that replaced my sun. but the fear gave me hope. i knew to let it abate was to give up and accept a future worth not much. so i let the fear in and used it to explore my darkest self. the person i surely have the potential to be. this boring, average, wasted shell that so many become. and who knows, i might become that person still. it’s always an option and i constantly remind myself to keep moving the other way. to keep struggling and carrying my weight across this desolate valley. moving only at night, one day i’ll find the ocean.

//john
aug 23, 2017

credits

released May 10, 2019

low horizon is:
john gottlieb
jasmine fuller
david dao
brandon t. “the cane train” cane

eternal depressed summer:
written by - john gottlieb
produced by - low horizon
recorded by - john
mixed by - john
mastered by Matthew J Barnhart at Chicago Mastering Service
album art by - Ryan Gottlieb

individual track credits on those pages

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Low Horizon Houston, Texas

hey, we're loho

lowhorizon.com/about

shows

contact / help

Contact Low Horizon

Streaming and
Download help

Shipping and returns

Redeem code

Track Name: All I Wanted
wake up looking forward
to falling asleep
only make plans
two days a week
said i’d be there
slept till almost three
hope you figure out
i’m sorry

understand
all i wanted was a nice life
now i can’t
do anything i like
inside my heart
there is a faint light
every day
it dims

every morning hurts
a little worse
i’m trying
to make this worth it
hold on to something real
i feel it disperse

another day i don’t wanna be awake
chasing goals i'll never obtain
i've stopped responding to my name
every conversation is mundane

understand
all i wanted was a nice life
now i can’t
find time to even try
my heart
grows dark
my passion
subsides

every morning hurts
a little worse
i’m trying
to make this work
each day is better than the next
i’m trying to do my best
Track Name: No-fi Tape
played you my no-fi tape
you asked if it sounded like this by mistake
i said no! it was an intentional aesthetic
you smiled and walked away
played you my no-fi tape
thought if you heard it you’d be amazed
guess i was right to be afraid
you stood up and walked away

so here
i am
alone
in my room
my songs distorted from
the speakers
and here
i am
missing
you
listening to tape hiss
you thought sounds like shit

i saw it in your face
the moment you realized my song sucked
i wonder if you showed it by mistake
i wish i was looking away

if only i wasn’t looking that way
i wish i was looking away
if only i wasn’t looking that way
i wish i was looking away
Track Name: My Ideal Slef
every morning i brush my teeth
try to ignore my feelings
i need to stop making promises
i’ve been doubting my honesty

every time i walk through those doors
i’m letting myself down
every day i feel smaller
as i waste a thousand hours

i wanna say everything’s okay and not be lying
i wanna explain the events of my day and not be bored out of my mind

but i guess i should give in
admit that i’m nothing
maybe to find my ideal self i need to
catch up on all the shows

take my exit on the way to work
maybe next week i won’t make the turn
i can ignore the world at a resort
keep finding new forms of bored

i wanna say everything’s okay and not be lying
i wanna explain the events of my day and not be bored out of my mind
i wanna say everything’s okay and not be lying
i wanna explain the events of my day and not be bored out of my mind
Track Name: Expectations
you seemed better after a long night of drinking
when my face was numb and my ears weren’t ringing
now i’m half up at eight a.m.
wishing you weren’t in my bed

you could be perfect if you were someone else
but you’re still her
and you’ll never be more

you should see me when i’m alone
i bet afterwards you’d leave me alone
i can’t help but to smile
fucking up has always been my style

you roll on me
say lets get some breakfast
but i’m tired i’m drunk
i don’t wanna do all this stuff
i’d invite you on a date
but i don’t have six months to waste
i can’t enjoy what i have now
expectations
always let me down

your smile will fade
but today it’s amazing
something worth seeing
like bluebonnet season

oooh oooh oooh
Track Name: Eternal Summer
spent june somewhere between on time and late
not talking to friends cause i’ll only complain
wasted july between high and sleep deprived
trying to forget my life
i miss my youth, i miss when kissing was cool
playing video games till dawn- now i’m barely holding on
bored by nine-thirty on monday
i find my friends at the bottom of a bender (we’re waiting in line)

remember love?
remember when summer was fun?
now I can’t tell
if it’s begun
remember pain was
fleeting as a summer crush
now let me know
when it’s done

the sun in the sky but my world is never bright
lately i’ve stopped going outside
i remind myself that earth isn’t constantly overcast
i remind myself it can’t be night forever (to mixed results)
give me something i’m not used to; i want mud on my shoes
can’t always be satisfied, at least i tried
thought i turned my life around
but everything looks brighter in a burning house

remember love?
remember when summer was fun?
now I can’t tell
if it’s begun
and one day this pain will seem
silly as a summer crush
just let me know when that time comes
ohh ohh oh
Track Name: Depressed Summer
i’ve been saving time for funerals
pretending my life is beautiful
i’ve been getting high a lot, getting lost between parking lots
the same pain in new places, i’ve been wasting my vacations
i’ve been sleeping in to get used to death
running away from things i can’t forget
if i can’t be happy please distract me
from making memories of what’s been happening

i wanna stand in the rain
till everything fades
however long it takes
oooh i’ll wait
i wanna stand in the rain
till everything fades
however long it takes
to float away

dead dogs and vacant lots, almost said sorry but i forgot
does this card express my thoughts? probably not probably not
i keep waiting to snap but now i doubt it’ll ever happen
maybe it can get worse forever and i’ll feel worse forever

i wanna stand in the rain
till everything fades
however long it takes
oooh i’ll wait
i wanna stand in the rain
till everything fades
but i won’t do that
cause my clothes will get wet
Track Name: Starting Tomorrow
take it slow, pay the bills
don’t show up, wait until
the party’s over and
i’m asleep in front of my tv
it’s late i’m boring
life can wait you assure me
there’s a house i can’t afford
so happiness gets ignored

but there’s a smoke in the breeze
it’s getting harder to see
there’s a smoke in the breeze
please don’t burn down with me

starting tomorrow
i'm getting my life back on track
or maybe the next day
but it won't be later than that, come on!!!!!

has my life been intentionally left blank
every thought i have is increasingly fake
i’m alone on a platform waiting for a train
surrounded by people i don’t know or hate

there’s a smoke in the breeze
every house is going for cheap
there’s a smoke in the breeze
please don’t burn down before i leave

starting tomorrow
i'm getting my life back on track
or maybe the next day
but it won't be later than that, YEAH

starting tomorrow
i'm done putting up with this crap
or maybe the next day
but it won't take longer than that

oh no
Track Name: On My Couch
lines on the pavement beg “this is how you escape”
so i pack my bag for a trip i won’t take
i’m on a quest to a cold hospital bed
so i close the blinds turn off the lights
and fall in love with nothing

oh i wanna go out
but i’m so spaced out
oh i gotta figure this out
but i’m too busy dreaming on my couch

tried to wait for the sun but i fell asleep
thought maybe the sunrise would make me complete
but i woke up at twelve thirty my stomach’s hurting
nothing wrong with calling quits when you feel useless

so let’s go to brunch
pretend our lives don’t suck
woke up hungover fell asleep drunk
guess this is what passes for fun

oh i wanna go out
but i’m so burnt out
oh i gotta figure this out
but i’m too busy sleeping on my couch

wake up early i’ve already had enough
keep looking for that penny lucky side up
Track Name: Keep
why do i bother waking up when
my life is running out
and the clock keeps spinning spinning
why do i bother with love when
my life is not a fucking romantic movie
why do i bother sleeping when
my dreaming wakes me up
i grasp my pillow tightly
it’s soft and cold like
you

i will always be in love with
someone who
doesn’t want to be with me
i will always love you
even if you never dream about me

i sit and watch a movie
it costs more than i’ll ever see
i sit and listen to music
better than anything i’ll ever make

but i keep on living
and i keep dreaming

i will never be in love with
someone who
needs to be with me
but i’ll always love you
even if you forget about me

ba ba ba na bah dah
Track Name: Fading
lose another breath
inhale a new friend’s cigarette
you look like an actress in your
short white dress
coked up at the bar
same as last weekend
when i get home tonight
will you feel satisfied

or high and lonely
it’s been a bit of time since i felt
happy with the sight of my
mess in the mirror
i count my time in weeks
watch my memories repeat
i’m always in between
what i want and what i need

it takes all night to fall asleep
when i wake up from bad dreams
will i change anything
or keep fading
Track Name: The Morning (feat Dos Los)
we gotta die sometime but
it won’t happen tonight
gliding through the city with
dilated eyes
hide under trees
feel the summer breeze
already almost morning but
i don’t think i can sleep

i don't wanna say goodbye till i've had my
share of these summer nights
so i wander into the skyline
to hide under neon lights

sway slowly as
flags at half mast
while we wait for
this to crash

ask where we are almost
throw up on the asphalt
should be sleeping but
at least we are dreaming
everytime i do this
i wake up feeling like shit
but don't worry about the future cause
you’ll forget about today

i don't wanna say goodbye till i've had my
share of these summer nights
so i wander toward the horizon
and a glimpse of red sky

sway slowly as
flags at half mast
while we wait for
this to crash

you found me in the rain said maybe it’s okay
took me to safety kissed me goodnight
if i survive the night i can make it through anything
if i get to the morning i can have a good life
Track Name: Shattered
i want you to know who i am
not just see me but understand
know my flaws and not be scared of them
i want you to hold my hand

i want to know
the truth
know what makes you cry
i want you by my side

will you judge my past
will you like the way i laugh
i wonder how i’ll first disappoint you
i wonder if you’ll still like me after

i want to be something that matters
so pick me up, i’m shattered

yeah

ba badah ba dah
bup bup baah bu ba dadah
Track Name: All I Want
three weeks since i’ve known your address
and you haven’t said you’re bored yet
maybe it’s happening, we're falling in love
cause i don’t wanna wake up not in your arms

i will grow old and you will grow old
maybe we won't die alone

all i ask
love me till you can’t
all i ask
never take it back

your eyes placate the turmoil
of a thunderstorm on the horizon
we have a long way to go
might as well move slow
now we’re high staring at waves
everything decent fades away
everyone visits but no one ever stays
well i hope we never leave

all i ask
love me till you can’t
all i ask
never take it back

all i ask

love me till you can’t
all i want
is to enjoy this while it lasts

Low Horizon recommends:

If you like Low Horizon, you may also like: